The Importance of Teaching Respect to Children

During a brief introduction to a friend’s young daughter, Lilly, a thought-provoking issue emerged. Lilly, only four years old, addressed me without any formal respect, despite the significant age difference. In contemporary society, the trend of informal interactions between children and adults has become increasingly common.

The National Center for Education Statistics highlighted alarming trends from 2019-20 compared to 2009-10. Reports of student discipline issues, including verbal abuse and acts of disrespect toward teachers, doubled over the decade. Similarly, a study in the journal Science Advances pointed out that people perceive modern children as less respectful of their elders. Moreover, this perception is stronger among those who value authority highly.

Violence in schools is another concerning trend. The American Psychological Association noted that from 2019 to 2023, 57 percent of surveyed teachers experienced physical violence at least once during the school year.

How can society reverse these disturbing trends? Several key strategies can be implemented:

Discipline must accompany love in parenting.

A balanced approach between discipline and affection is essential. While fostering love, teaching children to respect elders is crucial. This respect will benefit them in various social interactions throughout their lives, from professional environments to personal relationships.

Dennis Prager, in his commentary on the Bible, emphasizes honoring parents over loving them, as commanded in religious texts. This suggests that challenging relationships with parents require respect, a core tenet that these teachings advocate.

Parents should act as respectable role models. Children emulate adult behavior. A parent’s authority is diminished if they constantly yield to their child’s wishes. Being the adult and a role model is necessary for children to learn respect.

Manners matter.

How a child speaks and behaves, including their use of language, influences their respect for themselves and others. Properly addressing adults promotes disciplined behavior. The use of first names, even among authority figures, diminishes distinction and respect.

Traditional gestures, like standing when a teacher enters a classroom, could reinforce respect. Parents should support teachers by trusting their judgments, even if occasionally inaccurate. Confrontational responses from parents undermine respect for authority.

Active listening is vital.

Children should learn not to interrupt adult conversations unless absolutely necessary. This practice underscores the significance of adult discourse.

Respecting adults derives from appreciating the wisdom gained through life experiences. Adults possess knowledge children can’t yet understand. Recognizing this wisdom is crucial for children’s development.

Recognizing the hardships experienced by adults can foster gratitude and respect. Adults have often weathered significant challenges, including physical and emotional pain, financial struggles, or losses, that are unfamiliar to younger generations.

Teachers are indispensable guides.

The role of teachers and educators extends beyond academic instruction. They offer invaluable life lessons crucial for societal stability and personal growth. Respecting elders is a foundation for learning these lessons.

Ultimately, respect facilitates learning life lessons from experienced individuals, steering society away from deterioration. While love fosters connection, respect builds a foundation for a thriving community.

Demanding respect from children might initially conflict with notions of love. However, instilling respect equips children with necessary skills for a fulfilling life.

Joel Alperson is the Chief Business Officer at NeuralRegen, a pharmaceutical company focused on Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s treatment. He also edits Dennis Prager’s The Rational Bible. Alperson previously chaired fundraising efforts for the United Jewish Appeal and is a parent to four children.

Note: The opinions in this article are the author’s own.