The True Value of Kindness: Is It Lessened by Enjoyment or Recognition?

Does the value of a good deed diminish if the giver enjoys it, gains recognition, or receives something in return? Some people may think so, but recent research suggests otherwise. Participants in a new study generally valued acts of kindness regardless of whether they were completely selfless.

The study, led by Ohio State University and published in the International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology, looked at how people distinguish between acts considered “kind,” “nice,” and “caring.”

“The findings let us off the hook,” explained Alexia Holovatyk, a licensed clinical psychologist with over 12 years of experience in relationship dynamics. “Many hold back from doing something kind because they worry their motives aren’t ‘pure.’ However, the study shows recipients don’t care about that.”

According to the research, the terms “kind” and “nice” are largely interchangeable for most people, while “caring” carries a deeper meaning. Actions across all categories were more positively viewed when they were warm, planned, and unexpected.

When Kindness Becomes Caring

Jennifer Cheavens, the professor of clinical psychology who led the research, was inspired by seminar discussions. A 1998 episode of Friends, in which characters Phoebe and Joey debate the existence of selfless good deeds, sparked conversation.

Cheavens expanded on this idea with Laura Wagner, a developmental psychology professor. They conducted the largest study of its kind, designing 14 short vignettes covering seven elements of prosocial behavior, including anonymity, benefit, and cost.

Participants, aged 18 to 77, read scenarios and imagined receiving gestures like someone holding a door open or buying their food. They rated each action on kindness, niceness, and caring.

Participants saw little difference between kindness and niceness, except in the context of cost. High and low-cost actions were equally kind, but higher-cost gestures were rated as nicer. Actions were seen as more caring when involving known individuals or higher costs.

Cheavens and Wagner noted that “caring” emphasizes emotion and connection. Holovatyk, not involved in the study, noted this distinction is crucial in close relationships.

“Caring isn’t about the gesture’s size,” she said. “It’s about feeling seen by someone who knows you.” She suggested that chronic people-pleasers should recognize the importance of presence over selflessness.

Why Feeling Good Does Not Cancel Out Kindness

Dr. Bonnie King, a licensed counselor-supervisor, stated people often hesitate to help from fear of appearing self-serving.

“These findings indicate others don’t judge good deeds that way,” King said. “Feeling good after helping, or being thanked, doesn’t negate the kindness.”

She cited examples like checking in on a struggling friend or bringing dinner to a neighbor as acts rated more positively for being warm and planned.

The study focused on how deeds are labeled, not on the motivations behind them or psychological effects on the giver. Wagner noted that feeling good could enhance prosocial behavior, suggesting humans derive satisfaction from helping as a natural motivator for cooperation.

The researchers believe these insights can aid schools, clinicians, and communities in promoting prosocial behavior by aligning terms like kindness and caring with people’s expectations.

For more details, Newsweek contacted Cheavens and Wagner by email.

Reference: Cheavens, J. S., Wagner, L. et al. (2026). Kind, Nice, and Caring, Oh My! Investigating Differences in How Individuals Interpret Prosocial Language. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology. DOI. Contact Newsweek editors: Kara Dolman and Anthony Murray.