Flirting is often associated with romantic interest, but experts assert it holds benefits for emotional well-being too, provided it stays appropriate. Mindy DeSeta, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and mental health counselor in Miami, explains flirting as a personal interaction indicating interest in someone’s company.
Emotional and Physiological Effects
Flirting feels pleasing and has both emotional and physiological benefits. DeSeta told Fox News Digital that it activates pleasure and reward brain chemicals while reducing the stress hormone cortisol. People enjoy flirting because it boosts confidence, provides social interaction, and improves self-esteem. The general need to feel attractive and desired drives people to flirt.
Flirting can make you feel attractive and desired, enhancing self-confidence.
Flirting as a Relationship Signal
DeSeta believes flirting signifies attraction and should occur between partners or those pursuing romance. Flirting releases bonding hormones, making it challenging to remain platonic. If you find yourself flirting with others outside a committed relationship, it may suggest issues within the partnership.
As a sexologist, DeSeta emphasizes the importance of continual romance and flirting within relationships. She advises against letting relationships stagnate, leading people to seek validation from others.
Redirecting Flirting Energy
Flirting with someone other than your partner, like a barista or colleague, should stop. Redirecting that energy towards your partner can strengthen the relationship. DeSeta suggests openly sharing feelings and desires with your partner to revive the relationship dynamics. Communication plays a crucial role; express what attributes make you feel attractive and desired.
Rekindling Flirting in Relationships
Anna Elton, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist from Massachusetts, discusses how long-term couples may lack the flirtatious fun present early in the relationship. She highlights how daily responsibilities like errands and childcare often cause affection and playfulness to diminish, making space for stress and resentment.
Factors like body changes, aging, and stress also influence confidence and desirability. Elton asks couples about their flirting practices to gauge erotic intentions. She recommends creating a new flirting language to rekindle intimacy and connection.
Simple Ways to Bring Back the Spark
Elton suggests various small actions to reconnect, like a 20-second hug or a six-second kiss. Simple self-care tasks, such as applying lotion, can also help individuals feel more connected. Yet, DeSeta warns that flirting needs an appropriate time. Pay attention to your partner’s body language to ensure the right timing for flirting.
Flirting isn’t always welcome when a partner is stressed, busy, or focused on a task. Paying attention to subtle signals like leaning in, eye contact, or smiling can indicate receptivity. Both partners should openly discuss when flirting feels right for them.

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