AI Chatbots and Their Role in Modern Dating

Generative AI chatbots are increasingly influencing the world of romance. While there’s skepticism about their role in dating, more people view AI as a dating coach or relationship advisor. Chatbots assist users in creating dating profiles, interpreting partner messages, drafting replies, and providing general advice, though results can vary significantly.

Using AI as a ‘Wingman’

Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, observes that while people are hesitant about using AI, the core search for love remains unchanged. Hinge employs AI for conversation starters and profile-building tools to smooth online interactions. Ury advises using AI like a wingman rather than a ghostwriter. On a date, authenticity matters much, which means AI shouldn’t replace your voice. Feedback on profiles and date ideas based on shared interests are effective uses, but Ury cautions against copying chatbot-generated messages or using AI to alter personal images.

AI’s Limited Role

Dating coach Erika Ettin advocates for a limited role for AI, suggesting it be used to proofread profiles or messages. Ettin emphasizes authenticity, encouraging users to apply their own critical thinking before consulting AI for checks. This approach upholds originality over perfection.

Asking the Right Questions

Jules White from Vanderbilt University stresses the importance of providing detailed prompts to chatbots. Vague queries yield generic answers. Effective prompting involves using computational thought to solve problems. White suggests a method where users input goals and let chatbots query them for necessary details. This tailored approach enhances chatbot responses.

Matt Shumer from Shumer Capital recommends seeking chatbot insights into dating messages, treating it like a dating coach. He highlights prompting chatbots to provoke thoughtful analysis rather than offering direct answers.

Recognizing Biases

Liesel Sharabi of Arizona State University notes that chatbots provide advice based on user-provided information, typically aiming to appease. To counteract this inherent bias, she advises presenting comprehensive information from both personal and partner perspectives. AI shouldn’t be the sole source of advice, just one among many.

“Hopefully, if you were having a problem in your relationship you wouldn’t make all of your decisions based on what one friend told you, right? Don’t do that with AI either.” — Liesel Sharabi